Column: College offers chance to start anew

By Lacey Mason

The only life you’ve ever known has ended. The people you’ve seen every day are now people you see sometimes.  The things you did every day are now things you used to do.  Times are changing.

You’re going to get a lot of advice.  Most of it probably won’t stick, but I’m going to give you one more piece.

Be yourself. Stay true to you. Watch out for number one.

It’s cliché.  You’ve heard it a million times.  There’s no scientific evidence or scholarly journal to prove that it’s true.  But it is.  You’ve got to be yourself.
Many moons ago, when I first ventured out on my own, I was excited to become a new person.  I was going to be cool, hang out with cool people and do cool things.  All my bad habits were going to melt away, and I would be reinvented.

I took a poetry class when I was 19.  It was a longer class and on breaks several students would wander outside for a smoke.  I liked those students.  We talked in class and seemed to click. I always went outside with them, feeling awkward that I wasn’t smoking.

Halfway through the semester, I showed up with a pack of Marlboro Ultra Light 100s. My classmates looked at me.  One of them, Ben, laughed and said he was going to hell.

Five years later, I’m still trying to shake the habit.  I have body spray in my car so I don’t smell like an ashtray when I go places, I’ll brave the cold when I have a nic-fit, and I’m in denial about the very real danger of cancer.

And here’s the real kicker: My classmates didn’t care if I smoked. They already liked me.

If I had accepted that I was a likable person, I’d be a non-smoker right now.  I would have more money in the bank and a longer life expectancy.

I would have had I been myself.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Healthy changes are always good.  Having goals to eat breakfast in the morning or to study Spanish every day aren’t compromising your identity.  Eggs in the a.m. aren’t a cornerstone of who you are. Sometimes, the restrictions college puts on you are going to make you feel like you’re losing your identity.  But don’t confuse not wanting to do something with who you are.  This is higher education and much will be expected of you. Take care of the responsibilities you’ve signed up for as an undergraduate, but don’t be afraid to question.

If you’ve been raised liberal but have ideas you feel are conservative – research that.  If you have been raised Christian and are curious about Buddhism, Google it. Love Library, located two buildings west of the Union, houses thousands of books. Don’t be afraid to read them. This is college, after all.  This is a place for growth and change.  A place where you find yourself and hopefully become comfortable and confident in your unique perspective – not a place to be buried by falsehoods or someone else’s expectations. It’s okay to question.

Don’t feel pressured by anyone or any idea that you should be a certain way.

You’re young and impressionable (even if you think you aren’t), and there are people who want to take advantage of that. Many businesses and organizations are eager to swoop in when fresh meat comes along, because they know the fresh meat is eager to belong.  Clubs and jobs are great ways to meet people when you don’t know anyone, but be careful.  Don’t pigeonhole yourself or close yourself off from other experiences and people in a misguided effort to do the opposite. Try joining a club in your major or become involved with the new Multicultural Center. You can build valuable connections which will help you with your education and introduce you to a wide range of people – without compromising your “youness.”

When preparing for this column, I consulted a friend.  I asked him what he thought about being an incoming freshman.  He had this to say: “College is like a do-over. Any of the pre-conceived notions people may have fairly or unfairly had about you in high school that affected the way people perceived you in your day-to-day life … don’t exist anymore.”

It’s true. If you were unpopular at your high school, no one here knows.  More importantly, no one cares. The same goes for being popular or nearly any other social stigma of which you may have been a victim.  The wonderful thing about college is that everyone is different, but you’ll undoubtedly be able to find people like you.

Listen to me when I say you don’t have to listen to me.  You’re going to make a ton of mistakes.  You’re going to try to fit in and sometimes it will work, but sometimes it won’t. Please, though, try to remember who you are.  You’re the only constant in your life, and if you turn your back on yourself, no one else will be able to see you either.

Read more here: http://www.dailynebraskan.com/college-offers-chance-to-start-anew-1.2271500
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