Fashion magazines sometimes tell us what type of friend is “in.” You’ve heard of ‘em before, like “Why every woman needs a gay friend” or “the benefits of having a single friend” blah, blah, blah. Well, today we’re one-upping those mags and highlighting a best friend you may have never even considered having: an asexual friend.

For the uninitiated, an asexual person is a someone with no outward sexual drive. Basically, they don’t want to bang anyone. This can have some major advantages for friendship.

These are the top ten reasons everyone should have at least one asexual friend. (Mind you, these reasons may not be true of EVERY asexual, since we’re all unique snowflakes.)

#10. Your condoms are safe.

True, a good friend will probably at some point steal something from you. It might be your favorite book, a piece of pie or even your car. But an asexual friend will never, ever snag your stash of condoms from you. And frankly, knowing that your condoms are safe from pilfering, well, that just pays for itself, doesn’t it? (Okay, maybe your asexual friend will steal your condoms to make balloon animals, but that’s it!)

#9. An asexual friend is almost a guarantee of not ditching you for some anonymous piece of tail.

Ever want to just have a nice meal with a friend or go out to the club and dance? Yeah, me too. An asexual friend won’t ditch you for a one night stand. True, they might ditch you for other reasons, but definitely not this one. And if they’re your DD that’s just a bonus.

#8. The asexual friend will never neglect you for a flavor of the month.

Ever have a friend who drops off the face of the planet because they got a new boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah, it sucks. Not going to happen with your ace buddy. Just make sure you return the favor.

#7. Asexuals have the ability to talk about things other than sex.

Sometimes I just want to talk about zombies, explosions or even cheesecake. Deep ridiculous conversations about random stuff that have no relation to sex or sex related problems, you know? (Except maybe the cheesecake, mmmm….cheesecake.) Anyway, asexual people still have the ability to talk about sex, but it’s not their focus.

#6. An asexual friend makes an excellent wingperson.

Sounds crazy, but aces are wonderful wingpeople. They retain an excellent sense of taste and since they have zero intention of acting upon it, they’ll be focused on helping you out. Oh, and since they aren’t distracted by their hormones, they can smell jerks from a mile away.

#5. No whiney relationship BS.

Asexual people are probably the most drama-free people on the planet. Most that I know are also really, really good at organizing stuff too. So if your life is a hot mess, an asexual buddy is a great step toward making things easier.

#4. Friendship for the joy of friendship!

Ever have a friend who wanted to be “more than friends”? Yeah, you know the type of thing that’s pretty damned inconvenient and especially if you’re headed down the aisle with somebody else. Asexual friends don’t have sex strings to get tangled.

#3. An asexual friend will never steal your love interest.

Yeah, sounds obvious, but it’s true. By definition an asexual person will never, ever do this. It’s mighty nice. It saves a lot of heartache and stress.  Bonus:  the ace will probably try to get you two to hook up.

#2. One less wedding to attend.

Much as I enjoy celebrating love wherever it is found, weddings require a lot of energy. You know between arranging bridal showers, dress fittings, a bachelorette party etc., it’s all pretty exhausting, even if there’s cake. Not to mention expensive! So having one less wedding to attend is nice. And better yet, a truly wise friend knows that you don’t need a bachelorette party as an excuse for to have a wild, crazy and fun night.

#1. Asexuals have damn good taste.

Alright, I’ll admit when I first heard about “Ninja Assassin” I dismissed it. My asexual friend, Viv, insisted that I HAD to watch it because of the hot, bloody, Asian guy kicking ass. I was skeptical. But behold, Viv was right and Rain is delicious. Damn.

Alright, so we’ve joked in this column and generally had a good time. But in all seriousness, I’d like to draw your attention to a documentary film that is in dire need of an editor. The film is called: “Asexuality: The Making of a Movement.” After three years it’s finally ready, but they need your help to get it done. So if you’ve got a spare couple of bucks, donate to the cause! Check out Kickstarter.com and search for asexual documentary. It would mean the world to me and my asexual buddy, Viv.