Okay, you may think and say whatever you want about me. You may call me a hater, an envious individual or even a loser, but that won’t convince me to not write the following column. You see, I consider myself a philosopher who seeks the universal truth of everything surrounding us. Unlike many people, who only see shadows and mere perceptions of things, I see the essence of everything. Following Plato’s allegory of the cave in The Republic, I will say that I have been inside the cave, I have been released from the cave and seen the light, and now I am back to the cave with complete understanding of the world. I am an advocate of the truth, and will not tolerate ignorance, which according to Socrates, is the only evil.
It is for these reasons, that I find myself compelled to write a column about Portuguese soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. I remember a situation earlier in the semester, where I overheared some girls on Ho Plaza talking about Mr. Ronaldo. The following dialogue is what I was able to hear:
Girl #1: Cristiano Ronaldo is so hot. I will do anything to sleep with him.
Girl #2: Hell yeah, I would certainly include that achievement on my résumé.
Poor individuals! They don’t understand the underlying essence of things; they just rely on mere material appearances. I know, I can’t just ignore the fact Ronaldo is “smokin’ hot”, and that his abdominal area –– which according to him, has been developed at a rate of 3,000 abs per day –– is 10 times more fit than Leonidas’ in 300. It would also be ignorant on my part to claim he is a terrible player. Ronaldo scored 84 goals and provided 34 assists in his 196 appearances for English giant Manchester United. He even adapts to the playing style of other countries. In his current season with Real Madrid (Spain), for instance, he has 11 goals and four assists in just 10 games. You might find yourself thinking right now, “I don’t see a problem with this Ronaldo. He works and performs over the average level, and the percentage of the world’s female population that doesn’t want to sleep with him is lower than Harvard’s acceptance rate.” Well, my friend, you have never left the cave. The absolute truth about Cristiano Ronaldo is simple. He is an ass. Why? Let me answer you in the words of Stu –– the dentist from The Hangover–– “[he] is such a bad person, like all the way through to [his] core.” Indeed, Ronaldo has a terrible personality. Let me show you the light, my friends:
1. He is extremely egotistical: During the 2006 FIFA World Cup quarterfinal between Portugal and England, English striker Wayne Rooney –– who was Ronaldo’s teammate in club soccer at that time –– stamped Portuguese defender Ricardo Carvalho when fighting for the possession of the ball. Quickly, Ronaldo went to the referee in order to complain about the foul. Naturally, Rooney felt betrayed by the fact that Ronaldo, his teammate and friend, was trying to kick him out of the game –– and not just an ordinary game, but a World Cup quarterfinal that most players in the world don’t get the chance to play in during their lifetimes. Rooney then mildly pushed Ronaldo (like NFL players sometimes do to opponents during the game). In my opinion, this was a reasonable reaction. However, Ronaldo didn’t care about Rooney.
The Portuguese kept complaining and eventually achieved what they wanted. Rooney was expelled. Some people try to defend Ronaldo by arguing that during the World Cup they weren’t teammates because they were playing for their respective countries, that Ronaldo just did what any player should have done: perform in the interest of your team and country. Although those are valid points, I think the right decision from Ronaldo would have been to avoid the situation. Manchester United –– the club that developed him as a player, saw him rise to fame and paid him more than any other player on the team –– plays in England.
Ronaldo owed at least some degree of respect to all the English fans that supported him every year, and the English businessmen that made him “Cristiano Ronaldo”. Besides, the foul situation was between the referee, Carvalho and Rooney. Ronaldo had nothing to do with the play. However, he just cared about himself and winning at all costs. To make matters worse, he taunted every English and decent soccer fan in the world when he was afterwards caught by the international broadcast intentionally winking at the Portuguese bench.
2. He doesn’t know what respect means: In addition to the offense he committed against English fans explained above, Ronaldo doesn’t fail to show that he is obnoxious under other circumstances. In a UEFA Champions League match against Sporting Lisbon (a club where Ronaldo used to play), Manchester United head coach Sir Alex Ferguson told him to pass the ball into the penalty box area instead of taking a shot during the free kick opportunity. Ronaldo, instead of listening, decided to shoot to the goal. And you know what? He scored. In my opinion, this is unacceptable.
As a player, your role is to obey your coach, not to execute what you find correct. But no, he couldn’t just stop there. Ronaldo then looked at the bench were his coach was and made a mocking gesture. If I had been Sir Alex, Ronaldo would have been benched for a long time because in sports, as in most of society, discipline is more important than talent or performance. Another disrespecting situation regarding Ronaldo is that he is constantly diving during games and making a show out of everything.
He is the biggest drama queen of them all. Most Americans despised the FIFA World Cup because of all the diving and acting performances by players. And although I love soccer, I have to agree with this one. Diving is not just a lack of respect towards the game, but to all the fans of the sport that go to stadiums or watch the games on television.
3. He dated Paris Hilton: I think this one is self-explanatory.