Diamonds and Coal: September 5, 2014

Coal to Provost Vicki Colvin, who said she told President Christina Paxson during her job interview, “I cherish controversy.” Yeah, like we need more of that.

A diamond to the new contemplative studies concentration. We wish our finals consisted of just breathing.

Coal to the new Mail Services system, because we’re not sure we’d trust it with handling anything more valuable.

Cubic zirconia to James Morone, the new director of the Taubman Center for Public Policy and American Institutions, who said the center will “be much more ambitious” going forward. Sounds like our plans at the start of every semester. Call us in a month when all you can do is rewatch “Orange is the New Black.”

Cubic zirconia to the Undergraduate Council of Students leader who said of Brown dining, “We’re always talking about being better in touch with the student voice.” He’s almost at all five senses.

Coal to Dawn King, visiting assistant professor of environmental studies, who said she hopes the local food movement and sustainability “isn’t just a passing trend.” With so many babies named Kale, we sort of hope it passes.

Coal to Jean Lehane, spokesperson for Stop Common Core in Rhode Island, who said, “Parents are upset that education is being usurped by corporations.” Don’t you know that corporations are people, too?

A diamond to Paxson for saying that freedom of speech and diversity on campus were “linked somehow last year.” Brilliant observation.

Coal to Donna Personeus, executive director for the Thayer Street District Management Authority, who said, “There was a lot of planning to make it as painless as possible.” Tell that to the sidewalk that was ripped up.

A diamond to Ravi Pendse, vice president for computing and information services and chief information officer, who said, “We are expecting this new Brown network to work perfectly.” Are you living in Keeney? Because your optimism is adorable.

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