Cubic zirconia to Beppie Huidekoper, executive vice president for finance and administration, who said, “I think people are frustrated because they make requests for additional resources and very frequently don’t get them.” Three years in and Paxson still hasn’t gotten a new scarf. Times are tough.
A diamond to Richard Locke, director of the Watson Institute for International Studies, who said “the proof is in the pudding” when referring to President Christina Paxson’s response to Ray Kelly protests. We knew the Ratty was slipping something weird in there. …
A diamond to Chief Investment Officer Joseph Dowling for telling faculty members, “We are not following anyone. We are leaders forging our own path.” How very Brown of you, Mr. Dowling.
Coal to Matt and Kara Richardson, founders of Rhode Island’s first farm brewery, which makes craft beer from local ingredients. We’re relatively sure Rhode Island’s first farm brewery was established in Keeney’s basement decades ago.
Coal to Professor of Political Science Rose McDermott, who said, “I think people don’t like to be reminded that we’re animals.” No need to remind us. We know we are animals — under the sheets.
A diamond to the co-president of the Math Departmental Undergraduate Group, who said “People around you are doing all kinds of math for fun.” That’s social suicide!
Cubic zirconia to the student who said, “There are some CS students who are just rabid to work on some of these websites” for the Brown community. Nothing gets us going like coding either.
A diamond to the student appearing on “Jeopardy!” who said, “I don’t own a dry-cleaning bag or anything.” Nothing is worse than that bright yellow bag.
Coal to the student who said of the astronomy concentration, “I don’t think there would be many voices crying out in protest if for some reason it were canceled.” Hey there, it’s way too soon to just toss around “protest” and “canceled” in the same sentence like that.
A diamond to the student on Seth Moulton’s campaign who said “This is a very fluid team we work on.” That’s what we say about the team(s) we bat for.