On Nov. 16, the notoriously giddy FOX series “Glee” revealed its latest attempt at world domination: the stocking-stuffer-ready “Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album” a 12-song compilation sure to put listeners in a sugar-induced coma faster than anyone can say “holiday cookie platter.”
Fresh off of an episode dedicated to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and amid a handful of gleek-adored guest stints by John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos and Gwyneth “Married to Coldplay’s Main Singer” Paltrow, “Glee” has shown no signs of a sophomore slump. Although some critics claim that the hour-long musical satire has lost its sense of quirk and sold its soul in order to reap the benefits of topping The Beatles on Billboard’s Hot 100, it remains one of Fox’s most-watched shows and already has a contract for a third season.
“Glee” has already conquered covers spanning the pop culture realm – from Lady Gaga to Charlie Chaplin – in its mere 30 episodes, so it was only a matter of time before the juggernaut took a chance with holiday tunes.
A mixture of classic Christmas Eve church service melodies ( such as “O Christmas Tree” and “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”), cheery non-denominational sing-a-longs (“Jingle Bells”) and woes-of-a-lonely-single-person tales (“Last Christmas”), each track brings the quintessential “Glee” charm – or urge to vomit, depending on who is being asked – although none stand out as particularly original.
That being said, originality is hard to come by with recycled holiday tunes, and those glee club kids do their darndest to at least make the album enjoyable.
Although Matthew Morrison’s – AKA adorable glee club advisor and sweater vest proponent Mr. Shuester – duet with K.D. Lang on “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” was probably poised to be the runaway hit, Chris Colfer and Darren Criss’s same-sex twist on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is undeniably smooth and charming. A couple listenings of that and there won’t be any more questioning as to how Criss managed to nab a series regular contract after just one episode.
The New Directions kids do their signature mash-up with “Deck the Rooftop,” which, unfortunately, comes off feeling overproduced and corny, even by “Glee” standards. The slower, softer Lea-Michele-led “Last Christmas” is much more their style.
Avid fans will contest that there seems to be some sort of girls-versus-boys competition every other day at McKinley High, and it’s no different here: the girls do a solemn but solid “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” yet the guys have more fun with a faster-paced stab at “Jingle Bells.”
Frontrunner Lea Michele tackles two solos on the disc – “Merry Christmas Darling” and the haunting “O Holy Night” – and continues to make people everywhere feel below-average with her goosebump-inducing, pitch-perfect notes.
The equally-talented Amber Riley holds her own on “Angels We Have Heard on High” and Morrison ditches his usual Justin-Timberlake-wannabe act – thankfully – for a pleasant rendition of “O Christmas Tree.”
The album is by no means a disappointment; it just fails to make its mark in “Glee” history. More contemporary songs would have been welcomed, although the cast deserves kudos for their cover of “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year,” a song not usually done by non-misfit toys.
Honestly, listeners may have expected a few more guest spots after the relentless guest star casting being done this season. Gleek wish lists include the always-wonderful Kristin Chenoweth doing something such as “Santa Baby” or the surprisingly enjoyable Stamos tackling a feel-good tune such as “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” or “Jingle Bell Rock.” Also noticeably absent are Jane Lynch’s superb villain Sue Sylvester – who, although not possessive of any noteworthy vocal skills, could have done spoken-word wonders on anything tossed her way – and tiny powerhouse Charice, who hasn’t been seen since the season premiere.
The music is only half of the winning formula for “Glee,” though – the other half comes from the episode itself and the extravagant incorporations of the songs. Fans have already been promised a Christmas-centric episode after November sweeps, so there is a chance that some of the songs of lesser epic proportion have the potential to be better once played out on screen.
And, honestly, those kids could sing the instructions for an air conditioning installation and people would still flock by the thousands to buy it.
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Speakeasy Rating: B-