We’ve all experienced those situations that make us cringe, blush or even perspire at the thought of them. Whether you are with friends, in the library or even in the comfort of your own home, those circumstances always seem to appear when you least expect it. Here are some helpful tips to make these situations as least awkward as possible.
The Creep
Following a long week of exams, papers and stress, you cannot wait to hit the town with some of your best girl friends. And perfect for you, it’s Thursday and ladies’ night at the Absinthe House. After getting a couple of cheap drinks and appetizers from that cute bartender, you are ready to hit the dance floor. Everything is going great: the drinks are flowing, the DJ’s playing all your favorite songs and you are smirking at those girls in the ridiculous 5 inch heels.
But then things suddenly take a turn for the worst, and you feel that extra wiggle room for dancing slowly vanish. Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about: an unwanted dance partner who just doesn’t seem to get it. As much as you try to subtly decline by standing stone cold still or peering nervously behind you, Mr. Oblivious over here wants nothing more than to invade your personal bubble.
Instead of “Jenna Marbles-ing” the poor guy, politely turn to face him and explain that you are just not interested: Using the “I have a boyfriend” excuse is always effective. If the music is too loud, you can sacrifice one of your intoxicated friends –with her consent, of course– and switch places with her. Not the bravest way to avoid the situation, but it does seem to do the trick.
The Ex
Everyone, for the most part, has an ex of some kind. Whether it is a long lost friend, a summer fling or one of those unfortunate freshman year nights of regret, we all have someone we hope to avoid at all cost. It’s terrible, but it’s a fact. There are two things to consider in a situation like this. First, on a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you look and feel at the moment of seeing this particular individual? Second, how badly did things end?
Say, for instance, that you are at the gym. You have just finished an extremely intense workout and are sweating profusely, so you probably don’t look attractive, not even a little. You could be the most beautiful or handsome person in the world, but after a hard work out, you are not going to be very enticing to the opposite sex: Harsh, but true. If you run into your ex in this situation, do not stop to talk. Do you want to go in for an awkward hug and leave a sweat mark from your face on his gray T-shirt? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
If you do run into that certain someone, put your earphones in before they recognize you, and quickly give a wave as you pass by. Awkward situation avoided. When you are looking your best, be confident. Approach them and let them feel awkward; there’s nothing more satisfying than the feeling of self-assurance.
The “Bye Evan”
Most of us have seen the witty and raunchy movie, Superbad — and if you haven’t, I urge you to watch it immediately after finishing this article. I’m sure you recall the memorable scene where shy high schooler Evan bids his crush Becca goodbye in the hallway. Mortified when he realizes that he is actually going in same direction as her, Evan quickens his pace and awkwardly speed walks ahead, which causes her to say the infamous line, “Bye Evan.”
Michael Cera can get away with such situations because, well, look at him, he’s adorable. You, on the other hand, need to play it cool. Make a joke and laugh it off. Do anything that you can to make it as least “Evan-like” as possible. If this person is someone you don’t really know, pretend you have to take a phone call and hold your phone up to your ear. It sounds stupid, but it works every time. If you don’t have your phone at hand and still don’t want to keep conversation with that person, diverge from your original path and walk a different direction. It may be tedious, but it works in your favor.
These are just a few situations that I hope you can now get yourself out of or at least make it less uncomfortable. If you’re still feeling a little awkward, here are some awkward moments that may help you feel a little better about yours.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Kelsey Samuels at Kelsey.samuels@colorado.edu.