Dear Dr. Date,

I have a serious problem. I’m a good guy and all. I want to date and have fun as much as the next guy on campus, but before I can “seal the deal” I have a bombshell that I have to drop. This winter I got the news from my doctor that I’m HIV-positive. My question is, should I tell a potential boyfriend right away, or is it more of a third- or fourth-date type of conversation? How should I bring it up?

—Positively Clueless

Positive,

Positive, my instinct is that you shouldn’t tell a guy about your HIV on the first date unless you plan on having sex with him that night. While bringing it up on the first date would be an incredible jerk filter, it might be awkward to talk about. There’s a staggering variety in levels of HIV awareness, and it might be exhausting to have to spell things out for every guy you go out to lunch with. You deserve to have fun on your dates! And anyway, on a flake-filled college campus, so many first dates never get a sequel.

If a guy is a potential boyfriend, you should tell him as soon as you can, preferably before you get intimate at all. If I were you, I’d tell him on the second or third date or as soon as you’ve decided that you really do want to spend more time with him. Hopefully he’ll be understanding. But if things end after he finds out, it won’t feel like the end of the world for either of you if you’ve only gone on a handful of dates.

As for the tell itself, don’t tell him in the middle of a kiss — try to pick an explicitly non-sexual moment. Sitting across the table from each other at a coffee shop on your second date sounds ideal. The best approach is the straightforward one. Here’s a line you can use: “Hey, listen. There’s something I want to tell you about.”

If any of you readers out there have experience with disclosing HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases, please write to me and tell me how you have handled it. I would love to share your stories with Positive and other readers.

—Dr. Date

Dr. Date,

I am a freshman now in college, and I am having a huge problem … finding a boyfriend. I have been single for a VERY long time now, and I would really like to be in a relationship. With the year winding down, I really thought I’d be in one by now. My friends are all in relationships, and it makes me want to find that special someone, too. I find it very hard to meet guys that find me likeable and attractive. Dr. Date, I’ve heard you are a great matchmaker and advice giver, so what should I do about finding my Mr. Right in college?

—Lost Without Love

Love Lover,

I know the feeling. Trust me. Having a boyfriend is fun! You get to make out all the time and go on dates and he comes to your rescue anytime you’re the slightest bit bored. I love it. And this time of year, when it should be sunny but the sky is letting loose with these actual ice pellets? Damn it all to hell if a boyfriend doesn’t sound good right about now.

But I’ll tell ya this, Lost Without Love. You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, and the summer is a long season. I predict that when the weather warms up, the boys will start peeling out of the woodwork. Keep your eye out.

In the meantime, be happy that you’re single. I’m sure that some of the friends you say you envy actually have a little bit of the green eye for you! You don’t have to answer to anybody, and you don’t have to keep anybody updated about your whereabouts. Someday you’ll find a nest to crash in. But for now? Enjoy the solo flight. Be your own boyfriend — treat yo’urself to nights in and nights out, buy yourself some flowers and sing yourself a song.

—Dr. Date