Prayer comes in many forms. Perhaps we pray for the family friend diagnosed with leukemia. The cousin battling an addiction. The dog we have to finally let go. Or, perhaps the notion of prayer, communication with a higher power doesn’t appeal to us at all and instead a stream of questions flow in and out of our heads preventing any communication from happening. Is anyone listening? Is prayer even worth it?
As human beings with immensely confusing, beautiful, messy lives, we grapple with these questions of a higher power often — a topic so grand it can sometimes become overwhelming. And in Anne Lamott’s new book, “Help, Thanks, Wow,” these questions suddenly become more simple, if even only a little. With wit and poetic prose, Lamott reflects on the power of prayer and the three prayers she deems essential — “help,” the prayer of surrendering oneself to life’s unpredictability, “thanks,” the prayer of gratitude and “wow,” the prayer of awe.
Though it may seem too short for a topic so grandiose (it’s only 102 pages long), the book is packed with insightful reflections on life and love, pain and grief. It’s not a book about religion; it’s a book about faith — in ourselves, in the world outside ourselves, in a world that hurts us, scars us; yet, a world that also gives us immense joy.
“Let’s not get bogged down on whom or what we pray to. Let’s just say prayer is a communication from our hearts to the great mystery, or Goodness, or Howard; to the animating energy of love we are sometimes bold enough to believe in,” Lamott writes.
Refreshingly, Lamott doesn’t bash or praise one religion over the other; she goes beyond that even, giving the book a universal presence — one that spans religions, spirituality, as well as continents. It’s not about whether you believe in God or not, it’s about taking the time to think of life in a new, more selfless way. It’s about realizing that Life, “life” with a capital “L” is way bigger than yourself.
She writes, “I do not know much about God and prayer, but I have come to believe, over the past twenty-five years, that there’s something to be said about keeping prayer simple. Help. Thanks. Wow.”
Help. The prayer we say when the suffering is too much, when we realize we can’t control everything and that we must surrender in order to heal. It’s the prayer we say when we’re in financial ruins. When we experience a horrible break-up or when a tragedy changes everything we deemed unchangeable. This is when we become utterly vulnerable, Lamott says, and when we finally breathe, relieving ourselves of the power we struggle so painfully to hold on to. It is only then, Lamott says, that we begin the “daily walk of restoration.”
She writes, “If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved and in charge of so little.”
As she moves along in the book, Lamott talks about the other two “essential” prayers: “thanks” and “wow.” It’s easy to express gratitude, she says, when everything is going well in our lives. But it’s realizing what we have even in destruction — family, kind strangers, a warm home — that brings us closer with a spiritually deeper meaning to life.
“Sometimes circumstances conspire to remind us or even let us glimpse how thin the membrane is between here and there, between birth and the grave, between the human and the divine. In wonder at the occasional direct experience of this, we say, ‘thank you.’”
The prayer: “wow,” Lamott says, goes beyond just gratitude. It is about being in awe of the beauty of every day life. The changing seasons. The birth of a child. The smile of a stranger. She brings in everything from the mundane to the explicit beauty we witness every day to illustrate the awe we can witness if we only open up our eyes to it. If we welcome it, if we allow ourselves to live — truly live.
While she shares with us her wisdom, Lamott’s voice never loses its down-to-earth tone and humorous quality. After all, she’s no professional on spirituality and psychology (but then again, who is?), and we almost feel like we are talking to her personally, as if we were speaking over wine or dinner. Although at times Lamott rambles maybe a little much, her words are always chosen with such poetic precision that you’ll be quick to forgive her for any unnecessary repetition. In this book, every word counts.
As honest as she is wise, Lamott approaches topics of spirituality, love, life and death in this small volume of reflections. With attention to the little and the big, to the beautiful and the ugly, it’s a book about relating to something bigger than ourselves, whatever it may be, through three essential prayers.