I stood in my teeny tiny Bean Henderson dorm room and watched as my parents and brother walked out the door. I was shocked. How could they just leave me here like this? Crying and alone and fending for myself? They were supposed to take care of me.

This was my first realization of the real world — sitting alone in my room, too shy to go out and meet my hallmates. I would walk to the door, turn around, walk back to my bed. Repeat.

With the help of my roommate, I eventually made some friends, and later that week we attended our first “real” college party. I think I wore jeans and a t-shirt. One of my friends had her hair in two braids. We had no alcohol and awkwardly lurked around the house trying to bum some beer. It might have worked better if we hadn’t looked 12.

Somehow, my braided friend got ahold of way too many PBRs. We made it back to some guy’s house where she proceeded to throw up into a water bottle and all over her striped v-neck. Unable to move her, another friend and I ended up sleeping on the floor and experiencing our first walk-of-shame back to the dorms in the morning.

Welcome to college.

My freshman year, I couldn’t imagine a time when I’d be leaving, a time when I’d have figured out college just in time to go. I suppose we all have to grow up sometime.

It’s been real, Oregon, but before I say “goodbye,” let me remind you of all the things you’d better not change.

The way Autzen looks encased in golden light right before the sun sets. The way Pre’s Trail feels after months of not running. The way Californians complain about the rain. The way campus comes alive in the springtime.

These memories don’t even begin to describe all the things I will miss about my four years at UO. That’s not to say everything was perfect, but I wouldn’t take any of it back.

Coming to school here gave me everything I was missing before. I think about what my life would be like had I gone somewhere else, and it would be lacking. Nothing makes me happier than thousands of hands making Os in the air. Or laying on rooftops. Or seeing the city from the top of Spencer Butte. Or closing Max’s. I think about all the things I never would have done. The people I never would have met. The places I never would have gone.

I think about my time at Oregon and I think about all of you. All the people who made me who I am. All the moments that made my heart speed up.

Thank you, Oregon, for everything. I’m ready to leave but it is going to be so very hard to go.