By now, you all should have heard who’s to follow beloved Mark Yudof as UC president — if not from us, then from your Berkeley email … which of course you check every day, like a diligent student, instead of deleting everything in it right away. So you’ve had time to rejoice (or maybe not so much) over the choice of Janet Napolitano, former U.S. secretary of Homeland Security. The Clog has already worked out why you should celebrate, so all you have to do is sit back, read and shout with joy!
Saying “Homeland freakin’ Security.” When introducing the illustrious almost-appointed member of the UC system, you get to use the words “Thaaat’s right — Homeland freakin’ Security!” every single time. We don’t get some boring academic whose position we forget the next day. Not a former professor or academic administrator. Nope, we get someone from the U.S. FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. Can’t get any fancier than that, can she?
Blowing up Twitter and Facebook. If our new president were less political and more academic, there would be a lot less to rant about through social media. Could you write posts like these about anyone else? Any other figure would make it much more difficult to come up with witty criticisms and jokes for the Internet public to “like” and retweet. And what would our lives be without that ability?
TSA jokes. Speaking of being witty and memorable, Napolitano’s entrance into the academic sphere means you can bust out all those TSA jokes you’ve been holding in. “Time to install metal detectors on Sproul,” or “Does my backpack count as a carry-on?” can now grace your everyday school conversations. And we’re just grazing the surface of potential there. Otherwise you’d just be stuck with “New president. Cool.” You’ll also look super well-informed for knowing who she is; never mind the fact you read it somewhere (*cough* here *cough*).
Feminism. ‘Nough said. Not only is Napolitano a former member of the federal government, her first name also happens to be Janet. Which means she’s a lady — the first woman EVER to be president of the University of California. Girl power, right?! Hillary Clinton may not have gotten the honor of being the first president of the United States back in 2008, but at least the UC system has made progress in that field. If you don’t appreciate the TSA jokes, then this could be something to fist pump over.
There’s probably a lot more conversation to be had over the topic, but hopefully this at least got the ball rolling for Berkeley’s student body. If not, check Facebook (people’s real source of news). People are already posting links about this. Happy politicizing, Berkeley!
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