5. Pretend to be a ghost by dressing up in old-time clothing and walking with an empty gaze.

4. Search for all the squirrels that have mysteriously gone missing from campus. But, seriously, WHERE ARE THEY?!

3. Blast Soulja Boy’s “Stacks on Stacks on Stacks” and twerk on a bookshelf.

2. Order Insomnia Cookies and demand they deliver it to the book Sexual Life in Ancient Egypt. Give no explanation why.

1. Take a dump. (Expand your laundry room horizons, folks.)