The Game is incoming, as in incooooming, as in a football smashing into your unprotected face when you didn’t duck in time. To me, Harvard-Yale is like a taut, textured-leather oblong sac of air ramming into your temple every year around the third weekend of November. Like clockwork. Full disclosure: I have never been to a Harvard-Yale game. The one time I approached the stadium, a wave ofa noise and nausea passed over me, and I rode that party (school)bus right back to campus. BUT. Guys, I’m sure it’s gonna be fun this year. Go get ‘em, tigers! Play safe, wear mittens, and watch out for fly balls.
Outgoing: Daylight
Guess what, kids. Tonight the sun sets at 4:28 p.m. You heard me, 4:28 p.m. That means if, as an average college student, you stumble out of your stinking den at 10:28 a.m. for your 10:30 a.m. class, you will get to appreciate the world around you as illuminated by the sun for a mere six hours. Huh? According to the American Psychiatric Association, a healthy, young adult needs to remain conscious for at least 12 hours per subjective “day” to be considered human. Are you following this math? It means that even if you are fully functional, which, let’s be real, many of us are not, half of your day will be spent in darkness. But just because winter, Copernicus, and the straight white men in charge of daylight savings time are conspiring against your tanning time and your happiness, it doesn’t mean you can’t reclaim the darkness! Now you can knit by lamplight, have a proper séance, pretend your bed is a funereal Viking bark pushed out into black night—all before Jeopardy! And if you’re looking for more reasons to get out of bed before the sun sets, tailgating brings out the early bird in all of us. So rise with the sun and the solo cups this Saturday—no time like game time to catch some rays. And when you fall asleep by 5 p.m. from dartying too hard, it’ll feel, and look, just like bedtime.