In the world of Pixels, Kevin James is the President of the United States.
That says everything you need to know about the latest from Adam Sandler’s production company Happy Madison. It takes place in a reality where Adam Sandler’s mentality has won over America. It’s a world where very serious military types enact the sort of cartoon logic that children would write. One where it’s easier for professional gamers to learn how to operate covert military technology, rather than teach soldiers how to play arcade games. Where the guy will always get the girl regardless of how selfish, rude or immature he is. It’s a childish fantasy.
Pixels places Adam Sandler, Josh Gad and Peter Dinklage as ’80s heroes locked out of their time. Former arcade champions, they’re called into action when aliens challenge Earth to a tournament of war – inspired by retro video games. The plot of Pixels is not a narrative, more of a loose excuse for a string of comedy bits, CGI-heavy action sequences, and callouts to ’80s nostalgia that would make Ernest Cline blush.
By 2015, it’s hard to not have an opinion on Adam Sandler – either you loathe the guy’s comedic sensibility, or you bought one of the tickets that pushed Grown Ups 2 to a $133-million box office haul. His brand of comedy is the soul of Pixels – a mix of loose improv bits, G-rated slapstick, and PG-13-rated innuendo. Gad, James and the other actors roped into this script are just rolling with Sandler’s formula. Sandler himself sleepwalks through every scene, visibly bored by the material. Pixels is unfunny, yet never hits the infuriating lows of a Jack and Jill. It makes for a film that disappoints both those looking for a genuine laugh, or a masochistic challenge.
If any good words are to be said about Pixels, they should be reserved for the visual effects that brings these arcade icons to life. A Pac-Man the size of a small apartment rolls through New York streets, with a neon that shines with the retro glow of an arcade cabinet.
Q-Bert follows the cast like a poor man’s Jar Jar Binks, yet the character has genuine weight and presence in every scene. The final invasion is an endless sea of 8-bit monsters, each creative 3D recreations of their retro selves. Plenty of people were slouching in the creation of Pixels, but none of them were in the art department.
Yet it’s hard to recommend Pixels on its sporadic moments of visual spectacle. It’s a lazy, forgettable summer comedy disguised as a blockbuster.