For those of you who don’t know, in order to get anything done with Comcast/Xfinity (idk who really wears the pants over there) you need to chat with a live person. Here’s how you get them to say “You are really wonderful customer.” P.S I love you too Bhupendra. My Bhu Bhu. Pendy bear. B-time.

1 . Break them down: I initially called Bhupendra a robot due to his overly formal language and siri like responses. I then accused Bhupendra of using a fake name. He was put on the defensive.

2 . Immediately dismiss the necessity of using a live chat. Still not sure why they couldn’t just email me my password so I could check my bill but whatever I love u Bhupendra.

3 . Back off a little bit. Let Bhupendra know that you know he’s there to help you and you appreciate it, but merely hate the game, not the player.

4 . Mix business with pleasure. Ask him what he’s doing tonight? What’s he wearing? What does he like to do when he’s not being a bro helping out customers? Is he single? What’s his middle name? Let him know he would mean something to you even if you didn’t meet over Comcast live chat.

5. Gratitude: After receiving my password, I told Bhu Bhu he was the best employee at Comcast I’ve ever spoken to.

6. Bask in the glory of being a “kind and patient customer” even if you just spent 20 minutes revealing dark secrets just to obtain a password that should have taken 15 seconds to provide.

I couldn’t find the survey at the end of the chat, so I hope this message will suffice Pendy-bear. <3 <3 <3 <3.