Arfa Ali, 20, a junior commuter student studying nutrition at the University of Minnesota, said going to student group events has helped her feel less lonely, but living off campus has made feeling connected difficult.
“I really resented the U for a little bit,” Ali said. “I was like ‘I hate coming here, I don’t connect with people,’ and it didn’t make education fun at all for me.”
Ali transferred to the University from a community college in the fall of 2023 and said connecting with friends online has helped her feel less lonely. Seeing other people’s posts on social media doesn’t bother her, but if it did, she said social media could also have negative effects on loneliness.
Several studies have found social media can help make new connections for young adults and college students, but when used to substitute social engagement, social media can increase feelings of loneliness.
In March 2023, 39% of U.S. college students reported experiencing feelings of loneliness regularly, according to Gallup. A 2022 study by the American College Health Association found 53.6% of students experience loneliness.
U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy said the epidemic of loneliness and isolation is an overlooked but important U.S. public health issue in an advisory released on May 3, 2023.
Some physical health risks of loneliness according to the advisory:
- 32% increased risk of stroke.
- 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults.
- More than a 60% increase in risk of premature death.
Murthy launched the “We Are Made to Connect” college tour to encourage social connection in students, emphasizing the importance of forming healthy relationships, according to a news release on Oct. 30, 2023.
“Just like exercise and nutrition, our relationships with one another are fundamental components of our overall health and well-being,” Murthy said in the news release.
What is loneliness?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines loneliness as feeling an absence of meaningful relationships or a sense of belonging, and feeling disconnected from others. Loneliness represents the difference between desired connection and actual connection.
Dr. Liza Meredith, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota focusing on counseling psychology and student mental health, said loneliness is about a person’s perception of connections with others. Students can feel connected to a few people but lack larger group belonging, or they can feel connected to their community but lack close relationships.
Meredith said loneliness can also lead to a cycle of depression and social anxiety, making it harder for students to reach out.
“Because you’re feeling lonely, you’re also feeling sad,” Meredith said. “When you’re feeling sad, you can get stuck in your head, and that makes you more likely to hibernate in your own environment and not have some of the positive social connections that might build you back up again.”
Meredith said loneliness and feeling a lack of purpose can lead students to existential questions that make living in the present moment difficult: What am I living for? Who are my people? What do I want to do? What difference do I want to make?
“Being lonely makes it harder to just feel present in your day-to-day life,” Meredith said. “It makes it harder to really just feel a sense of commitment and purpose and connection.”
Meredith said people may experience fear of feeling lonely in group settings which will prevent them from going in the first place, further perpetuating the loneliness cycle.
Feeling connected makes people want to do things that, in turn, make people feel more connected, Meredith said. Loneliness works the same way but with the opposite effect.
Social Media, Loneliness and Social Expectations
Dr. Jake Loeffler, a staff psychologist and outreach coordinator for the University of Minnesota student counseling services, runs workshops focusing on exposing students to their fears of social anxiety in a controlled environment, aiming to help students navigate some of the challenges that come with college life that can often perpetuate loneliness.
“A lot of times, social anxiety comes from projecting negative ideas,” Loeffler said. “You imagine someone’s thinking something about you and it disrupts your ability to be yourself or makes you feel so much anxiety that it’s uncomfortable just to be in someone’s presence.”
Loeffler also focuses on students’ relationships with social media, which he said can create unrealistic expectations for social interactions and norms, making their real lives less fulfilling.
Loeffler said social media is a constant reminder of social ideals and can lead students to make unhealthy comparisons between their lives and what they see online. People are less authentic on social media.
“We all in some ways have a social self, and we have a self that we allow those close to us to see,” Loeffler said. “That’s not anything new, but with social media, there’s this curated life that has become the norm.”
Loeffler said college comes with many life changes thinat can result in students experiencing loneliness. For many students, living away from home for the first time, actively establishing personal values and identities, and developing social skills can make adjusting to college life challenging.
Actions as simple as asking someone for help can lead to long-lasting friendships, he added.
Minority Identities and Loneliness
The 2022 study by the American College Health Association found that 68.9% of students identifying as transgender or gender non-conforming reported experiencing loneliness, while 53.6% of students identifying as cisgender women and 49.8% of students identifying as cisgender men reported experiencing loneliness.
Meredith said people with minority identities face more barriers to forming social connections because it is harder to find others who share their identities and interests. Social media can help people connect through unique interests and experiences, but social media can also have negative effects on loneliness for students, especially when students compare themselves to others.
Liz Hwang, the undergraduate international initiative coordinator for the University of Minnesota international student and scholar services, said international students from countries with fewer students on campus can experience loneliness more than students who have a bigger peer group from their home countries on campus. She said many international students do face loneliness, but their experiences are diverse and cannot be generalized across the international student community.
“White international students might have an easier time making friends than BIPOC international students,” Hwang said. “But also, white students might also have a hard time making international friends that might share an immigration challenge.”
Ky Nguyen, 23, an international graduate student from Vietnam studying counselor education, said finding a community among international students with shared values and experiences helped her feel less lonely. She added making friends is easier in graduate school compared to undergraduate because she has a better understanding of her goals.
“It’s like a sense of belonging, we have the same values,” Nguyen said. “We also help each other improve.”
Kelvin Mulyasasmita, 22, graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2023 with a degree in computer science and is from Indonesia. He said being an international student during the COVID-19 pandemic increased his feelings of loneliness.
“I remember just being one of the two or probably the only one eating in the dining hall and that was definitely an experience,” Mulyasasmita said. “It wasn’t too bad, but it’s definitely lonely.”
“Very purposeless,” he added about his experience during lockdown. “I can’t talk with anyone. I don’t see anyone.”
Hwang said more than 90% of students who attended Small World Coffee Hour — an event organized by international student and scholar services at the University — and filled out the event survey reported meeting someone and said the event helped them feel a sense of belonging on campus.
How can Students Address Loneliness?
Student Counseling Services offers workshops and group therapy sessions for University of Minnesota students including cultural and religious groups, mental health counseling and educational workshops. Loeffler leads an Attack Anxiety workshop and an Understanding Self and Others counseling group focusing on developing relationship skills and self-awareness.
Addressing loneliness can also be about simple daily habits.
Meredith said going to office hours, joining research groups and simply saying hello to people in class can help students feel more connected to their surrounding environments.
A University of Pennsylvania study found that undergraduates who reduced social media use saw improvements in mental health and decreased loneliness. Just being aware of screen time and social media use led to less time spent on social media apps and students experienced less anxiety and fear of missing out.
A Harvard Health blog post said people should be mindful of social media use by considering why they use the platforms and what they hope to get from it. If social media is a substitute for in-person social interactions, reading a book, spending time outdoors or participating in creative activities could be alternatives that offer better health outcomes.
Loeffler said educating students on setting boundaries with technology is essential in today’s digital world.
“I think the tools that we’ve created can benefit us as a society,” Loeffler said. “But likewise, I think we’re susceptible to businesses and corporations marketing their products to us in a way that makes us addicted to them and has us buy into the idea that happiness has to have some kind of product involved with it.”
Minneapolis ranked among America’s top 10 loneliest cities in 2024, according to data from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. The ranking was determined by tracking the number of one-person households in more than 170 areas with populations of 150,000 or more identified in the U.S. Bureau American Community Survey.
Dr. David Nathan, an Allina Health psychologist, said in an interview with WCCO that loneliness has four categories:
- People with few social connections.
- People who live alone.
- People with no close friendships.
- People who spend time alone when they want to spend time with others.
Nathan clarified living alone does not imply a person is lonely, but when a person experiences multiple of the above categories, loneliness can become a bigger concern. The important question is whether people are happy with their current level of social connections.
Nathan said the social culture of the Midwest can explain part of Minneapolis’ rating among the “loneliest” cities. Minnesota social norms often reflect politeness and fear of offending others, making people less likely to freely discuss a wider range of topics and establish comfortable social connections.
The tendency to stay home during the winter in Minnesota is also a big factor in people making fewer social connections, he added.
Nathan said multiple studies have reflected increases in loneliness, especially among 18- to 22-year-olds. Social time is built in during high school, but many lose that structure after graduation and spend time learning how to manage their social lives in early adulthood.
For those experiencing loneliness or looking to help someone they know, joining activity groups, cultural community organizations and social skill development activities in Minneapolis are helpful and accessible options, Nathan said.
The Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board offers arts events, outdoor activities, health and fitness programs, and youth activities, among other social engagement efforts.
Social connection doesn’t have to be all about human interactions.
Getting a pet or interacting with animals can give people a meaningful sense of connection and purpose in life, according to University of Minnesota Physicians.
Boynton Health’s Pet Away Worry and Stress, or PAWS, program gives University of Minnesota students opportunities to interact with registered therapy animals four days a week during the academic year.
Loeffler said there is less tolerance for average social interactions in today’s entertainment-filled world.
“There’s so many other options competing for our attention today than there used to be in forms of entertainment that we may deprioritize just having people to hang out with,” Loeffler said.