My mother used to always tell me that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. And she’s right: when people say “I love you” or “have a nice day”, more is expressed through the way they say it than anything else. When people say “literally”, they might mean to describe something “literally”, they might not mean to describe something “literally”, and they might, if said in the right tone, be referring to a “litter alley.” Like when she said “I literally died.” Did she?

Like she said, what is meant relies on how it’s said.  So, to honor my mom (every day is Mother’s Day!), allow me to try to better understand the most common conversation on campus at the moment—a perfunctory conversation about midterms.

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Ugh— Midterm.

So, here you might have thought: “Easy! That person is obviously talking about an exam.” Sorry, but you’re wrong. It’s obvious to me at least that Person 2 is actually talking about pregnancy—specifically, the middle of pregnancy. Like, the child inside of her is midway through his/her  in utero development. The use of the singular “midterm” and not “midterms” is an obvious reference to the singularity of this event and not a singular test (who says “midterm” and not “midterms” anyway?) This becomes even clearer when considering the discomfort inherent at the middle of a term of pregnancy, which is, from what I hear, “ugh” provoking.

Let’s move on to another example:

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Midterms, so eh…not so great.

Now you’re probably thinking: “Oh I know! This time it’s so obviously about midterms, like, the tests!” To which I would say, not so fast babe. To me, the referred to “midterms” in this dialogue are not exams, but midterm Congressional elections—the ones that happen two years after any Presidential election. How I know is because most Congressional elections, like more than 75 percent of them, aren’t contested. So when responding “not so great” it’s because the Congressperson involved is referring to the fact that they’ll probably re-win their House seat, and that campaigning or fundraising or whatever is “not so great”.

Here’s a final example:

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Midterms. I’m nervous.

So now you’re probably thinking: “I’m not letting this guy trick me again” so you probably think that I’m referring to the mid-term of an expiration of a patent. Well, you over-thought this scenario. Person 2 was actually referring to midterm exams this time, and I think that it’s really obvious. Midterms are something to be nervous about—they’re part of your final grades. To those who didn’t get this right: do you think this whole thing was a series of trick questions? Pay closer attention next time.

So study up on these, and happy midterms!