Soccer head coach Rich Manning is leaving the team to become a prison warden.
The Daily Utah Chronicle
Long known as the most cruel and demanding coach on campus, Utah soccer coach Rich Manning will be taking his mean streak to the prison yard.
Utah State Prison will announce today it is hiring Manning as its new warden.
“It is our opinion that prisons, both in Utah and nationwide, have become too soft,” said Tom Patterson, the director of the Utah Department of Corrections. “We need old-school wardens that periodically abuse inmates just to keep them honest, and we at the DOC believe Rich is the perfect fit for the job.”
Manning has long been known for a rigidly cruel coaching style. He coaches every game with a hunting knife and a pistol on his hip, but Manning is best known for his verbal lashings. In 2011, the university had to ban children under 10 from attending soccer games since Manning’s profanity could be heard throughout the stadium.
Manning refused to speak to the Chronicle for this story, as has been his policy since 2010 when an altercation between he and a Chronicle reporter resulted in the writer receiving a black eye.
Players have offered mixed reactions, but one thing is certain — they all think Manning will excel at his new position.
“Rich had two pictures in his office: Atilla the Hun and Joe Arpaio,” defender Katie Taylor said. “This is a guy who, if we got scraped or cut during a game and needed a bandage, would line the bandages with salt. It’s those little signs of him being a psychopath that make me think he’ll be a truly malevolent prison warden.”
Many players won’t miss the salty bandages and language, but some credit Manning as being an amazing coach and mentor.
“When I first got on campus, I was just a starry-eyed freshman,” forward Baylee Nielsen said. “Rich took care of that. I’m now quite bitter and lash out at those closest to me for no reason. Those are the lessons Rich taught me and the lessons I want to pass down to my children.”
A plaque in the Utah locker room reads “LOSERS SHOULD GET KICKED IN THE FACE,” and while Manning never struck a player, he did use unconventional methods of punishment. A story famous among the team alleges that after a tight loss, Manning drove a player who registered a late penalty out to the west desert and made her eat gravel. Manning has also been known to force players to attend forum discussions at the Hinckley Institute of Politics.
“It was so boring. I seriously cried the whole time,” forward Lexi Krantz said of her time in the Hinckley forum. “I honestly would have traded places with the gal Rich drove out to the desert. But, I tell you what, I never forgot a play again.”
Utah’s search for a new coach will begin immediately, according to athletic director Chris Hill. The Utes will be looking for a coach with methods similar to Manning’s.
“These women have dealt with the most demanding coach in the country,” Hill said. “If we don’t find someone with an acidic personality like Rich, the players will break the poor coach’s mind.”