One of my favorite activities is leaving places. When someone or something gets in the way, I get mad. And when I get mad, I want to leave places more. The number one thing that gets in the way of me leaving places is stupid doors. Are you curious as to which doors are the stupidest? Well, you’re in luck, because all I do is walk around experiencing the bullshit that is Yale doors.

Byers Hall (Silliman Common Building)

Is this bullshit mechanized or not? Can any engineer major (I don’t personally know any) or like whoever explain to me how this works? I’m tryna be in the secret society that knows the answer to this question.

Commons Rotunda

These doors suck. Are they made of steel? I’m pretty sure some kid lost a limb to mine the metals for these doors. You all know what I’m talking about. I’m actually annoyed that these doors made the list, just because they’re just so duh. I do want to discuss however how much I hate calling something a rotunda. Way more into “circle room”.

HGS

Unlike Byers and Commons, this door (the second door) weighs way less than you’re expecting. We’ve been trained to push so hard that this door will really throw you for a loop. The door swings so far it will no doubt aggressively hit the wall behind it, creating the literal biggest noise in the world.

WLH

Let’s talk about this fuckery. If you want to feel immediately like a dummy, just get caught in between these two doors. It’s truly a nightmarish experience. Oh and it is ground zero for running into people you would prefer didn’t go here.

Saybrook Gate @ Elm/High

Just cuz I’m shocked that anyone cares.

Harrison Court

Ok. If you’ve never been to HCT, let me be your tour guide. Fab building (white trim), but horrible vestibule. First off, let’s discuss the sheer number of doors required to pass through to get anywhere in the building. It’s a goddamn labyrinth (don’t think I’m using that word correctly); it takes four keys to get to a single apartment. While cumbersome, the real problem lies between doors one and two. They both open outward, which is fine if you’re alone, but let’s say someone is leaving and someone else is entering. The two people try to hold their door open for the other, and while a nice gesture, I’m boob grazed every time.

Gourmet Heaven Broadway

Now this door I don’t totally h8. I just kinda h8 it, because while it swings effortlessly, it functions poorly. I took architecture in high school, and so I know that outside doors are supposed to (a) not confuse people. I always end up knocking over apples and pears and then apologizing for the fault of an architect.

17 Hillhouse Door to Basement Stairway

Actually what? Is it just me, or does this door open into a pipe? Yes, yes it does.