If you live under the very real rock that is everything unimportant, you probably did not celebrate the unbelievable Yale Hockey National Championship victory on Saturday. Luckily, Kimberly Goff-Crews (step aside Linda Lorimer) has an answer to all the FOMO. To all of the  I-was-seeing-Hamlet-and-therefore-couldn’t-go-to-Box losers students, head on out to Ingalls Rink a little before 5PM today to celebrate! The only thing I love more than celebrating during and immediately after something awesome and exciting is celebrating during my Picasso & Matisse lecture 48 hours later. The extra time allows the magnitude of the victory to sink in. Because everything on the internet should be modeled after Thought Catalog, here are 7 Great Guesses As To What The “Celebration” Is:

1. Ingalls Rink is lined with Claire’s Cake.

2. Ingalls Rink is actually not lined with Claire’s Cake, but Clam Pizza from Pepe’s.

3. Disney on Ice Flashmob

4. Miracle screening, where QPac takes on the role of Soviet Russia.

5. Stats presentation by Professor David Salsburg, explaining how Yale Hockey just should not have won. He’s really pissed about their win, because it disproves theories and laws he’s been teaching for…like…forever.

6. Surprise! The “celebration” is actually the Bulldog Days Activity Bazaar, and this is just a ploy to get undergrads to attend.

7.Y”P”MB will perform some rendition of a Ke$ha song. They’ll be too little popcorn. Oh, and the baton twirler will be there, which will be awesome because I literally love her.