History:
You are diligent but no one cares.
This week is about letting your hair down. Try new things. Love thy neighbor, and if thy neighbor wants to try a threesome you should do it.
Math:
Your promiscuity has become a cause for concern. Your theorem will remain true only so long as you remain true to yourself.
Be cautious in your romantic endeavors and you will be rewarded.
English:
By your own hand are you now smitten and entirely unemployable. Your obsession with fiction annoys your friends, so you would be wise to stop talking about your short stories so much.
Art History:
This is a big week for you. You will meet your maker, and your maker is going to love you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you should behold her even if you barely know her.
EP&E:
You owe money to a dangerous man and you should pay it back as quickly as you can.
Engineering:
Confidence is key. Hide nothing, reveal everything, speak softly and carry a big dick.
Humanities:
Your watch is underneath your mattress. You’re welcome.
Psychology:
You have a substance abuse problem and you are never going to get rid of it. So, have fun at Spring Fling.
Economics:
Buy low, sell high. Penny stocks will prove lucrative this week….or will they?
Undeclared:
Do less.