Relationships have always been hard, but nowadays one must navigate the treacherous waters of “social networking” in addition to the other commonplace relationship issues.
Our generation has been plagued by several sources of Internet interference (i.e., Facebook and Twitter) that not only pillage us of our time but can also hinder our ability to have meaningful relationships.
Some of you saw this coming citing the “MySpace” days when not having your significant other in your “Top 8” could call the whole bond into question. These days, a Facebook “wall post” or Twitter “DM” from that high school fling can ruffle the feathers of trust between a couple. Questions of transparency arise regarding ones cyber alter ego and its place within the realm of reality.
We may try to keep these Internet extensions of ourselves so separate from reality that we neglect how dicey they can become when critiqued by the eyes of those we care about. Any seemingly flirtatious comment, or not changing that status from “Single” to “In a relationship” can be social suicide.
We put the proverbial gun to our own heads when we approach relationships backwards and try to build trust and communication online, instead of creating one the old fasion way. Social networking sites may actually contribute to this foundational relationship faux pas as well.
Flirtation via Facebook chat, Tweet or even text does not build the connection required to sustain a relationship. Communication in person is necessary to reach that level.
People are so often disappointed when a relationship flourishes online, only to fizzle out when actual conversation is required. But in reality this should not come as a surprise. People are not the same online as in person; they do not have minutes or hours to think up a clever, witty response.
If a relationship is altered for the worse when its participants meet and converse face to face, you know they did not have a chance to begin with. We cannot expect to really know someone when our interactions are filtered through the distorted mediums of Internet and cell phones.
If social networking has tested the trust in our relationships, shame on us. Relationships have always been hard, yet the factors for maintaining a successful one remain both crucial and elementary.
Trust and communication create a sense of security between two people that should be unique and able to withstand the callow arenas of Facebook and Twitter.
If you are easily shaken by the wall comments or direct Tweet of some other girl or guy on your significant other’s page, perhaps you should consider being single, or at least examining your self-esteem.
Our generation should never have to worry about the problems caused by social networking sites. Distractions will continue to come and test our bonds and change our lives, but we must be able to addapt. These should be remedial tests that we pass with flying colors by relying on the fundamentals of partnership.
I’m not trying to offer a solution as much as point out that, if we stay true to basic principles and focus on the core of our relationships, social networking shouldn’t be an issue.
– Anthony Toney is a Santa Clara U. junior.