Listen up everyone. After some serious binge watching, I have concluded that Rory’s freshmen year experience is a HEINOUS LIE. Here are some of the blatant fallacies that GG spoon-fed us.
1. You will not live in your own filth.
Rory’s room is never dirty. I haven’t properly seen the floor of my room in three weeks.
2. You will not live in a broom cupboard.
RORY’S ROOM IS THE SIZE OF A MILLION DOLLAR LOFT. Their common room is the size of my entire floor.
3. Your room will be furnished like a million loft.
Rory’s grandma furnished that common room better than Martha Stewart could have furnished her penthouse jail cell. The fridge in my suite broke the first week of school, leaving us with melting food and a truly fantastic smell.
4. Your bathroom will be clean.
Rory’s bathroom sparkles with glory. Every time I bend down to pick up my shower caddy and catch a glimpse of my bathroom floor, I die a little more inside.
5. The Whiffenpoofs will randomly appear and start singing to you.
The Harvard Yale game episode is completely false!
6. You will tastefully tailgate.
Yeah no I don’t do that.
7. There will be a coffee cart right outside your door!!
This one brings tears to my eyes. My life would be drastically different if I could walk out of my dorm and immediately and grab a coffee and a scone. And Rory doesn’t even use it every day!! I would be at texting level with that guy. Probably best friends on Snapchat. Who knows, I would see where it led.
8. You will not live on the 4th floor.
This one is pretty specific to me, but I resent Rory for not having to summit a mountain three times a day. And like, everyone else who doesn’t summit a mountain three times a day.
You guys don’t know my pain.