Pinder, the revolution college needs. If you’re scared about the teaching style of a professor or if you need  special accommodations, Pinder is the app for you. It’s like Tinder for your professors. You can match with the professor based on clothing style, first impressions (cause you really can judge a book by a cover — just like all those books you’re supposed to read for class but don’t because you realize you have no interest in them and they are pointless for your life), life interests (that the professor can go on tangential rants about) and what they expect from the students. Pinder is helping colleges become more productive. Professors love selecting the students they want in their discussion classes. They even get to decide to have an intelligent student over an idiotic one.

At Whitman College, the startup of Pinder has had some complications. During a testing period, professors had a hard time distinguishing the intellectual from the pretentious. Also, all the Whitman student test profiles had few differences between them. Pinder theorists have given thought to this interesting fact about the profiles. Some theories involved the culture of Whitman, while others articulated the sheepish nature of humanity with people wanting to be similar. However, all theorists have agreed on the fact that the diversity of the school is small. Everyone seems to wear the same clothing, be from the same socioeconomic class, have the same interests, compete against each other in their academic classes and participate in an abnormal amount of extracurricular activities. As one may have guessed, this lack of similarity was a problem, and the Pinder team almost decided against releasing the app to the Whitman Campus.

The Pinder team fixed the problem by including extra application space to separate the students. The students can now select what Greek organization, location on campus and friend group they are in. This has helped separate the independent from the dependent (alcohol related) and the politically correct to the politically incorrect. Professors are very satisfied with this second Beta (the app, not the fraternity, they are still not satisfied with Beta Theta Pi). Comments on the app have included professors being more comfortable holding late-night class in a bar or having a real symposium instead of an argument between three people in the class. The new Beta app has gotten the Pinder team more excited for a release date.

To create a more dynamic app, the Pinder team has decided to include a free match with the health center if students need to be taken care of. They got the idea from the Life Alert system. Whenever a student falls down, stumbles too much and can’t make it back home or to class, the Health Center match helps that student receive a “friend” to bring them sickly needs, transportation or a shoulder to help them make it through their troubles. The improvements exceeded administrations expectations.

Whitman faculty have asked for an expected release date due to the strong improvements. The excitement rose in a faculty meetings last week, and through some inside man, my main man David Bowie, I have heard the expected release date to be around April 20, right in time for pre-registration.+