Scene 1
The sound of wood crackling in a fire. A siren in the distance. The sound of animated voices. 36 hours after ACT I, the middle of the night. A flashlight beam across the stage reveals that the kitchen is blackened with ash and the window is boarded up. There has been a small fire that burned parts of the wall, floor and ceiling. The portrait of GRANDADDY PHILPOTT is badly blackened, though the eyes are still clearly visible. The electricity has been turned off to the appliances. ROSABEL tiptoes into the kitchen with a flashlight. She looks around for a little bit, sighs. Pokes her head out onto the porch. As she’s looking at the porch, ARTHUR JUNIOR creeps into the kitchen with a flashlight. ROSABEL turns around and bumps into him.
ROSABEL: Who’s there? I have a pistol!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Calm down, Rosabel, it’s me.
She points the flashlight at his face.
ROSABEL: Oh. Hi Arthur Junior. You look really creepy with the flashlight like that.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Boo!
ROSABEL: Ahhh!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Shh! What are you doing down here? It’s 3 a.m.
ROSABEL: I was going to help myself to midnight piece of chocolate chess pie but I remembered halfway down the stairs that the kitchen burned down.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: It didn’t burn down. There was a little fire in it, that’s all.
ROSABEL: Do you think the leftover pie’s still good?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Pa probably cleaned out the fridge when they turned off the electricity.
They open the fridge. It’s empty.
ROSABEL: Empty. Dang.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: We could go to Seven Eleven.
ROSABEL: Maybe in a bit.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: McDonald’s probably has some kind of pie.
ROSABEL: I don’t really want it that bad.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well you shouldn’t stay in here breathing in the fumes. They’ll mess up your lungs.
ROSABEL: What are you doing down here anyhow?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I wanted to get a good look.
ROSABEL: At the burned up kitchen?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Yeah.
ROSABEL: What’s there to see?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I dunno. It’s the kitchen. I never really looked at it much and I figured now’s the only chance. It always used to smell like butter.
ROSABEL: When Ma was around.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Remember that time we tried to make fried chicken, you and me?
ROSABEL: Yeah you hit me right on the cheek with the frying pan. How could I forget.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: It was a love tap.
ROSABEL: Uh huh.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well, it’s all too bad.
ROSABEL: What?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: That it burned down.
ROSABEL: Yeah.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: The one in Bassett is much smaller. There’s barely even room for a table.
ROSABEL: We’ll sit in another room, then.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I guess we’ll have to.
ROSABEL: You get used to things. They seem bad for a while and then you just get used to it.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I guess so.
ROSABEL: Arthur Junior?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Yeah?
ROSABEL: Did you light the kitchen on fire?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Me?
ROSABEL: Yeah. I know I didn’t leave the deep fryer on. I remember turning it off and pouring out the oil.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well, of course I did.
ROSABEL: You did set the kitchen on fire?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Makes perfect sense, don’t it?
ROSABEL: That’s what I thought! I knew it!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: You’re so dumb, Rosabel. I didn’t set the kitchen on fire.
ROSABEL: But you just said you did!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well I didn’t
ROSABEL: I hate it when you do that!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Set stuff on fire?
ROSABEL: Say something and take it back! I can never tell if when you’re serious and when you’re pulling my leg!
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Do you really think I would try to burn down my own house?
ROSABEL: Well, we’re about to move.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: It’s still my house and I have to live in it until we move.
ROSABEL: Well technically it’s 1/3 Pa’s house and 2/3 Uncle Harris. And no thirds you.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well I live in it.
ROSABEL: And I know I turned off the deep fryer. I know it.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: There are lots of other things that could start a fire.
ROSABEL: Like what?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Cigarettes.
ROSABEL: Well the only person who smokes cigarettes is you.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: And Pa.
ROSABEL: Are you saying Pa started it?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: No. I don’t know. It could’ve been the wires. Or lightning. Or Pa’s cigarette.
ROSABEL: I tried to tell if the fire came from the porch inside or went from inside to the porch but I couldn’t tell.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Let me have a look.
ROSABEL: Are you sure you didn’t start it?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I just said I didn’t.
ROSABEL: I won’t tell Pa or anyone. Especially not Uncle Harris.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Do you really think I would’ve set the kitchen on fire with a chocolate chess pie in the fridge? I surely would’ve taken it out first.
ROSABEL: Okay, that makes sense.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: We should’ve eaten all of it yesterday.
ROSABEL: Well even if you didn’t start it, it didn’t work. They’re still selling the house.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: How do you know?
ROSABEL: I heard Uncle Harris talking to Pa on the porch. The new buyers are gonna knock down the whole thing anyway.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?
ROSABEL: Then you wouldn’t have tried to burn it down?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I didn’t do it!
ROSABEL: I don’t mind them knocking down the house. I hope they build a shopping mall.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: That was gonna be my next business proposal. A Bass Pro Shop.
ROSABEL: Ooh, good idea. We do have such terrible shopping here in Martinsville.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: What are they building?
ROSABEL: Who knows. Like I said, I hope it’s a shopping mall.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: What are they gonna do about the graveyard?
ROSABEL: Dig up the whole thing and move it to Basset.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: You can’t do that.
ROSABEL: Why not?
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I don’t know. It’s blasphemy.
ROSABEL: We could just take the headstones.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: That’s even worse.
ROSABEL: Why? Nobody would know the difference.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: But we’d be leaving the bodies in the ground!
ROSABEL: Well they don’t care. They’re already dead. Only we would know and our children would never have any idea.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: You’re so naive, Rosabel.
ROSABEL: Well, it’s all up to you anyway. You don’t have to listen to any of my suggestions if you don’t want to.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: What does that mean?
ROSABEL: I’m moving in with Nathan Junior next month.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Since when?
ROSABEL: Since yesterday.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I didn’t think you were serious about that.
ROSABEL: I don’t say things and take them back.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: My baby sister!
ROSABEL: I called him after lunch and we made a plan.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well then. You’re leaving me all alone in Bassett. Thanks.
ROSABEL: I’m not very sorry actually.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: It’s fine. I don’t blame you. Are you at least going to get married first? You know all the grievous sinning.
ROSABEL: Of course. You can come to the wedding.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Where are you going to have it?
ROSABEL: Well we were going to have it in the barn but I don’t know if that’ll work with the kitchen all burned to a crisp.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Sorry about the kitchen. I didn’t light it though. I’m just generally sorry.
ROSABEL: Oh it’s okay. We’ll just have it at city hall.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Do we even have a city hall?
ROSABEL: Yeah it’s in the post office.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: I had no idea.
ROSABEL: And you and Pa can come and Uncle Harris and Cousin Nathan can come if they really want to but they don’t have to.
ARTHUR JUNIOR: Well I wouldn’t invite them but it’s not up to me.
The sound of steps.