2020: years since Yale was invented, when God decided gothic architecture was the most beautiful of all forms of artistic expression and Connecticut the most preppy of all states

1099: days since the Class of 2017 regular admission results were released, marking the exact apex of my life and the point from which everything began to decline

372: times my parents have casually dropped the Y-bomb in conversation with people who never actually asked where I went to school while I try disappear into a puff of dust

48: the average number of minutes per day that I cry for various reasons, many related to Jane the Virgin

6: babies I could have had by now if I had been born in a different era where women were expected to have children rather than apply themselves to get a B.S. in chemistry

1) calendars 2) daycalc.appspot.com 3) me 4) my suitemate’s psych stats notes 5) my academic advisor