When confronting sex, it is usually best to categorize what type of sex you are having, and whether you are comfortable with its current status. What kinds of sex have you had, or are you currently having? For me, there are five discernable categories that outline types of encounters and the underlying issues that accompany them.

Cheating

Easily the bottom of the totem pole, cheating is commonly frowned upon by every facet of society. Very little controversy exists on the subject of cheating. Nearly everyone deems the action unacceptable. If you are one of the few who finds the act acceptable, you are presumably the one cheating or the person aiding the cheating. Caution: if a person is willing to cheat on his or her former partner, he or she is likely to cheat on you later.

One-night stands

Usually defined as a sexual encounter in which neither participant has known the other for very long. For a one-night stand, neither person should have any intention of anything more than sex. According to The Sun, more than half of women regret the activity, while 80 percent of men feel positively about it. Whether you regret or rejoice in the act, know that a person promiscuous (or intoxicated) enough to hook up with another individual on the first night probably has the capacity to do it with another person. Don’t try to make a relationship out of it, because there wasn’t anything special that night other than the drink prices.

Extended Hookup

Think of this as the equivalent of friends with benefits, only you’re not friends. This refers to occasional instances of casual sex, often referred to as “no strings attached,” “f*** buddy” or “booty call.” You wouldn’t call him or her to hang out, you don’t really want to be seen with this person, but you will call him or her when you’re bored, inebriated or both. If you’re getting called between the hours of midnight and 2 a.m., don’t let yourself fall into some misguided notion that the person calling you likes you as anything more than an object to serve his or her needs.

Friends with benefits

Despite recent romantic comedies pertaining to this confounding encounter, in the real world someone usually falls (or falls harder) for the other individual. Consequently, jealousy emerges, emotions run tense, and the friendship suffers. This is not to say that friends cannot form a relationship; in fact, I believe the most lasting relationships begin as great friendships. But if you are friends and decide to hook up, you should wait to either commit to a monogamous relationship or just leave it as a friendship.

Relationship

This is easily the hardest category, because emotions are involved. In purely sexual advice, make sure you keep your partner happy. You don’t need to give up your source of happiness at the expense of your partner, but do what you can to keep both of you happy. If you make him or her happy, he or she will be even more willing to reciprocate. Keep curiosity, enthusiasm and an open line of communication in your relationship.

I refer to this as a hierarchy not because of the importance of each type of hookup, but because of the level of emotions attached to each. If you are having emotional ties to a one-night stand, you need to re-evaluate the situation for what it is, not for what you want it to be.

Where are you in this hierarchy, and – more importantly – are you happy?