If you’re a senior like me who’s freaking out about everything we have to do this year and how there’s no time complete it all, it’s time to make haste and take action! I have–that is why I’ve decided to become an adult baby. I mean, why not? Us seniors have the whining down anyways…

Oh, your thesis is due tomorrow? Pull on your best baby diaper and don’t worry, because no adult wants to make a baby do something they don’t want to do. You have orals in a week? Practice your best baby talk and waddle around until you find someone who can help a helpless baby.

All my stressors were wiped away as soon as I shoved my first binky in my mouth, and all the adults said,“Oh my goodness, you are so cute! How old are you?” To which I held up my fingers and said, “This many. [Giggle giggle.] Can I has a nap pwees?” But in all seriousness, the bookstore already has an array of cute baby attire and sippy-cups that you can dress yourself in to make the full transformation. It’s almost like they’re encouraging our imminent regression.

To be a college graduate, you need a cap, gown, diploma and a lot of time and money. All you need to be an adult baby is a blankey and some made-up words. If you’re not interested in solving your own problems or figuring out your future, just be a big baby.